Second Chances

I hope they understand that I'm not angry, I'm just saying... Sometimes goodbye is a second chance. ~Shinedown It has now been almost 9 months since my life changed forever.  Since I took a leap of faith, left familiarity, seized happiness.  Did I find happiness? I think happiness must be a relative term, for what exactly have I found?  Freedom, independence; maybe more than anything I have found liberation.  These months have represented a journey I never thought I would take.  I was settled. I was content.  I was comfortable.  But I wasn't happy.  You see, happiness is, after all, a relative term.  I think many mistake comfort and contentment and routine as happiness. I think that is simply not so.  What we all should do, is think back to childhood.  It wasn't contentment and comfort providing us with the best memories.... it was sheer happiness.  The happiness of seeing your best friend, of getting a trinket or toy you had your eye on for months, of a simple hug.  A hug.  Affection.  Companionship.  What was better than lazy summer days with your friends and neighbors, or late night weekend sleepovers laughing, joking, and just being.  Being. Being.  That's what I think I've been missing.  Being.  Living.  Not existing.  Existing is just surviving, but true happiness. Now that's something special. As I settle in to the changes I have faced in this past year, I now know the true power of a second chance.  Second chances are magical.  "We're given second chances every day of our life.  We don't usually take them, but they're there for the taking." ~Andrew Greeley  Sometimes a decision to seize a second chance is met wit ridicule and scorn.  Sometimes it is met with fear and uncertainty.  But it's there.  Waiting.  An opportunity to start a brand new future.  I'm no prophet and have no key to the future, but I do know the future is mine for the taking.  Do I have regrets? Of course.  Those without regrets are without growth.  Mistakes and regret feed and nurture introspect and change.  For the first time in my life, I am learning who I am.  Not who I should be.  Who everyone else wants me to be.  But what I want.  And who I am.  And it's beautiful.  I have a long way to go, but I can officially finally say that I am beginning to feel happiness again.  Thank God for second chances.